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Things to do when you feel like a bad mum

Nobody’s perfect, and sometimes we forget this fact of life whenever we slip up as a parent. It’s easy to feel you’re the worst mum in the world, especially when you’ve done something wrong.

The best course of action, however, is to pick yourself up as soon as possible. Here are 13 things to do when you feel like a bad mum:

Have faith…

If you’re thinking that you’re a bad parent, you’re probably not. It’s what separates those who want to try harder and those who think they do nothing wrong.

Don’t let your mind fool you into thinking that all you do is wrong. Take a deep breath, remember that we’re just human and try your best next time.

Strive for Improvement…

It’s perfectly normal to mess up every now and then, but you will have to take into account whether you’re learning from these mistakes or not.

First-time errors and mistakes are okay, but then keep this in mind next time. It’s still fine to make the same mistakes, but always strive to improve and get better.

Forgive Yourself…

Perhaps the most important thing to do when you’re down and upset is to not be too hard on yourself.

You can pick yourself up by recollecting how much you’ve done for your children. All that time and effort to raise a child isn’t a laughing matter, and the dedication and decision alone to push through deserves high praise.

Adopt Your Child’s Mindset…

Children are innately innocent, and they’re more forgiving than anyone else. It will definitely help if you can adopt that mindset so you can move on from the mistake and do better.

Also, even if you did make a mistake or don’t take care of your kid as much as you’d like, they’re probably thinking that you’re still a super parent.

Children also have an ability to live in the ‘now’, and forget the things they did instead of wallowing in despair.

Set Aside Some Quality Time…

Instead of thinking about what went wrong, you can keep a positive attitude and use that time to spend with your children.

Stepping away for a moment and getting in some quality time can be all you need to get out of that funk. The activity can be anything, from the simple act of colouring to the more complex, such as baking or cooking.

Set Some Time For Yourself…

After spending quality time with your child, it’s time for self-care and looking inwards.

You can set aside half an hour twice a week or more depending on how stressed you feel. Use this time to recharge your energy, e.g., go for coffee with a friend, a walk or maybe a quick run around the neighbourhood.

Spend Time with Your friends…

Being a full-time mother can be incredibly stressful because you’re usually juggling several things at once. One way to de-stress is to reconnect with your friends and get the support you need to keep going.

Set up a group chat, or do a one-on-one video conference. Talk about the things you usually do, and if they have any advice then you can learn from it.

Stay Positive…

Feeling like a bad mum is a downward spiral that gets worse the more you think about it.

The first thing you should do is be aware and catch yourself- are you feeling down most of the day? Why do you think you’re a bad mother?

Self-awareness and positivity are the two most important things you should have. Yes, it’s true that there will be difficult times but it won’t be that bad a week or a month from now.

Start over…

Much like putting the past behind you and staying positive, there’s always a mindset to start again and be ready for the next day.

At night, have some quiet time, sit down and think about the things that went right. It will be really difficult not to find something good that happened, and it’s a better exercise than focusing on the negative things.

You can write down the words, ‘tomorrow is a new day’ on your bathroom mirror or fridge to remind yourself to stay positive.

Talk About It With Your Partner…

Who else to get some much-needed support from than your spouse or partner? A close friend or a special someone can give you that pep talk and some perspective along the way.

The feeling you have may not come from parenting or from being a mother- it could be from something else entirely. Talk things through and you’ll usually cheer up after a good talk.

Speak With Your Child…

This is the time to open a line of communication with your child and get some things out of the way. If you haven’t said sorry then now is the best time for it.

It makes sense to tell them you feel bad for being a bad mum, and listen to what they say. They may not think about it at all, and you’ll be beating yourself up for nothing. End it with a good hug or cuddle and you’ll both feel better moving forward.

Converse With Your Mum…

If you need someone who has had a lot of experience with motherhood, you won’t have to look far. Your mother can be a source of encouragement, and you’ll find that there are some things they learn even when they think they know everything!

Have a sit-down and talk about how you’re feeling. Then, listen to what she has to say and take it to heart. Your own mum won’t judge you, and she’ll try to cheer you up with a story or some wise words.

See the Basic Truth…

Life goes on even when you think you’ve done something bad. Regardless of how you feel, it’s still okay if you and your child are in good health, love each other and have all your basic needs met. Step back and look at the bigger picture and you’ll wonder why you felt bad in the first place.